


Turbulence

by serapheim



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Adult Content, Adult Language, Alcohol, Changmin is not a kid anymore, Jaejoong is a saint, M/M, Masturbation, Profanity, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, Unresolved Sexual Tension, mature content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:32:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serapheim/pseuds/serapheim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He simply couldn't understand why Jaejoong had chosen Yunho and not him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turbulence

**Author's Note:**

> request done for unnamedangel @ livejournal

It was frustrating how everybody seemed to still treat him as a kid. Although he was not a kid anymore, and he knew exactly what he wanted.  
   
He wanted Jaejoong.  
   
Sweet, mother-like, beautiful, but undeniably male, Jaejoong, who seemed to return everybody’s affection except for Changmin’s.  
   
*****  
   
Jaejoong closes the door to Yunho’s room with barely audible click. He turns and almost jumps, when he sees Changmin leaning on the wall right in front of him. The younger boy’s hands are crossed on his chest, his face wearing a stern expression.  
   
Willing his heart to stop beating so fast, Jaejoong asks quietly: “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in bed?”  
   
“I am not a kid anymore to be in bed after nine o’clock .”  
   
Jaejoong just shrugs and turns to leave, when Changmin’s hissed question stops him: “Does he fuck you hard?”  
   
“What?!” In shock Jaejoong whirls around and looks at the younger boy, not quite believing what he has heard.  
   
“Yunho. Does he fuck you hard? Does he make you moan and writhe under him?”  
   
“What are you talking about?!”  
   
Changmin thinks he likes the way Jaejoong’s face is a pale mask of shock and disbelief.  
   
“I am not that naïve, Jaejoong!”  
   
*****  
   
They all thought he knew nothing of sex or what was going on behind the closed doors. But he knew and knew too much. And sometimes he wished he wasn’t that smart or that observant.  
   
So he spent sleepless nights, straining his ears and listening for Jaejoong’s steps, as he would tiptoe into Yunho’s room. He would only fall asleep when he was sure he heard the elder boy return to his room.  
   
*****  
   
They come off stage high and excited, the adrenaline still rushing through their veins. They are surrounded by the staff and occasional random people, but Changmin still catches the look Jaejoong gives Yunho and following him manages to corner the eldest boy in a deserted corridor.  
   
He says nothing, just grabs the other’s wrist stopping him. When Jaejoong looks at him questioningly, he presses him to the wall.  
   
“What are you doing?!”  
   
“Where are you going?”  
   
They stare at each other silently: Jaejoong defiant, Changmin angry.  
   
“What the hell is going on here?!”  
   
Yunho’s voice breaks them up. Changmin lets go of Jaejoong’s wrist and walks away brushing past their leader, his face unreadable.  
   
“Nothing.”  
   
*****  
   
Every so often Changmin wondered what was about Yunho that was attracting Jaejoong. He could see that their leader was strong and possessed that type of masculine beauty that made all their fangirls swoon. But all of them were attractive in their own way, and Jaejoong could hardly be called a girl, so he simply couldn’t understand why he chose Yunho.  
   
And not him.  
   
*****  
   
“Can you tell me something?”  
   
Changmin leans on the fridge, watching Jaejoong’s hands move as he washes the dishes. Jaejoong doesn’t look up, but his back tenses and then he nods tersely.  
   
“What makes Yunho so special?”  
   
Jaejoong is silent for a moment. His hands continue their steady work, as he scrubs and rinses.  
   
“He makes me feel secure. With him I know where I stand. He is strong where I am weak.” He says finally.  
   
Finishing his work, Jaejoong turns off the tap and moves to take a towel and dry his hands. He still refuses to look at Changmin.  
   
“Do you love him?”  
   
Jaejoong pauses on his way out of the kitchen.  
   
“I like him.”  
   
*****  
   
He knew there was nothing he could do to change the situation. He couldn’t make Jaejoong change his feelings. Although he still hoped that one day Yunho and Jaejoong would break up and he would be there to pick up the pieces.  
   
*****  
   
The water feels hot against his skin, running down in dozens of tiny waterfalls, teasing his skin. His hands roam across his chest, brushing the rosy buds of his nipples.  
   
He moans as they travel south, finally reaching his rigid sex. He knows exactly where to touch, how fast to move his hand, how hard to squeeze his member. The orgasm rips through him, and he lets out a choked cry, unable to silence himself and not caring if somebody hears.  
   
“Jaejoong!”  
   
For a second he stands still, panting heavily, only on hand against the wall keeping him upright. Small aftershocks still course his body, when he starts rinsing off the traces of his release.  
   
Instead of feeling sated he feels empty inside.  
   
*****  
   
He thought that maybe it was all about the experience. Maybe if he had more experience in sex, Jaejoong would have chosen him.  
   
That was why he felt he did a right thing when he let that nameless guy from their staff fuck him. He thought it would teach him how to be more desirable to the eldest boy.  
   
Instead it just made him feel dirty.  
   
*****  
   
The moment Jaejoong enters his room and turns on the lights, he freezes in shock.  
   
“Turn off the fuckin’ lights, Jae.”  
   
A very naked and a very drunk – judging by the slur and an empty bottle on the floor – Changmin is in his bed.  
   
In spite of the ridiculousness of the situation, Jaejoong can’t help but admire the body in front of him. The boy has grown and matured, and it shows in every panel and muscle of his body. Almost unwillingly, his gaze shifts lower and wanders over the places, which are usually concealed by the clothes from his eyes.  
   
“Like what you see?”  
   
Jaejoong shuts the door and slowly approaches the bed. “I’ve always thought you are the most beautiful of us all.” His voice is gently, as are his hands when he moves to cover Changmin’s lower body with the duvet.  
   
“You do know that I want you, don’t you?”  
   
Changmin’s voice sounds like that of a lost child, his eyes are pleading.  
   
“Of course, I do.” Jaejoong lowers himself to seat on the bed, his hand gently brushes the dark locks from the boy’s face.  
   
“Why don’t you want me, Jaejoong? Why do you want Yunho? What do I have to do? Do I have to change to make you want me?”  
   
The tears spill down the tanned cheeks, Jaejoong’s hand keeps brushing the boy’s hair, as Changmin sobs out all his grief and frustration. When the younger boy has finally fallen asleep, Jaejoong leans to brush a kiss across the forehead and whispers: “Just be yourself.”  
 

//  
 

_Written: August 08, 2006_   
_Revised: June 10, 2013_


End file.
